Germany vs Curaçao — World Cup 2026 prediction

Well, that was certainly a massacre. Germany looked like they were playing against a local Sunday league side that had stayed up all night at the airport terminal. Seven goals? Curaçao’s defense had all the structural integrity of a wet paper towel left out in the tropical rain. While the crowd favorite status always leaned toward the Germans, nobody expected a total dismantling of this magnitude. It is truly the ultimate underdog story of how to get absolutely obliterated on the world stage. If you predicted this scoreline, you are either a visionary genius or you have access to a time machine. Absolute carnage. ⚽

The 48-team World Cup truly is the gift that keeps on giving. We have Germany, the ultimate tournament machine, facing off against Curaçao in a group stage fixture that sounds like a random FIFA career mode generation. Germany are obviously the massive crowd favorites here, expected to roll over the Caribbean side with ruthless, German efficiency. But this is CONCACAF we are talking about. If Curaçao can channel some peak North American shithousery and park a cruise ship in front of their goal, we might just see the ultimate underdog story of the decade. Realistically, it is likely a comfortable night for the Germans, but we can always dream of chaos. 🇩🇪